The "Pathless Path"
Examining your relationship to work
I just listened to an interview of Paul Millerd discussing his book The Pathless Path. His idea is that
People have “scripts” about what work should mean and what their relationship to work should look like
Often these scripts don’t match reality well and this leads us to spend a lot of time doing things we aren’t happy doing, even if we have enough money to do other things
People should give themselves space to examine their relationship to work, understand what energizes them, and make more explicit decisions to do the things that benefit them
In the most powerful part of the interview he encourages people to block off 3 hours on their calendar during a work day and sneak out and do something they liked doing as a child. Then, note how you feel during that time. If you feel guilty, why do you feel guilty? What is it you’re “supposed” to be doing, and who is supposing it?
He also encourages people to take a sabbatical and spend time exploring what it is that brings them energy.
I remember going to the grocery store on Haight Street at 11am to avoid the long lines during the depths of the pandemic. I remember feeling viscerally anxious and agitated by a delay in the checkout process because I felt guilty for not being by my computer. I checked my phone and refreshed Slack, trying to make the little green bubble appear next to my name.
But there was no tyrannical boss who would yell at me for going to pick up groceries. The discomfort was entirely self inflicted, and I noted how weird it was and how I wanted to change it.
In that instance, taking a road trip and getting out of the space I inhabited every day helped shake me up and realize that this job was just an activity that I did in my life, it wasn’t my entire life. It felt like being a mouse in a maze and then suddenly being in an airplane above the maze looking down. I started to worry less and had more fun at the job.
That type of discomfort related to work has ebbed and flowed for me, but figuring out a way to establish distance has been really helpful when it’s gotten bad. Physical distance like that road trip is surprisingly effective, but also talking to friends or family about things entirely unrelated, or working on a hobby completely outside of the domain of work.